Star Thrower Photos » Photos for a Cause

I’m still here

There is a lot of literature about the best way to go about returning to blogging out of a long absence. “Don’t mention you’ve been gone!” some say. Others say “Your readers have a right to know!” Still more argue it is irrelevant. Most of the time their concern is with maintaining or increasing business. Telling readers you’ve been missing is like admitting you are incapable of running a business. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve blogged up on this site. They say maintaining a consistently updated blog is the key to getting new business in the Web 2.0 era. Oops.  Truth be told, I am not writing this to garner more business, but to explain. Parts of this post will be controversial and opinionated, so if that sort of thing turns you away, I’m sorry in advance.

Almost a year ago, about the time that last post went up, I had a set back in a lifelong struggle. See, since I was a kid I’ve had Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depression. I’ve spent years in and out of doctors, off and on meds, trying different things, but there is no cure. About November of last year I hit a huge slump. Massive. I felt like my entire world was crashing down around me. I didn’t care about anything, really. I got up, showered, laid in bed, got up, worked, came back to bed. That was my life for nearly three months. I didn’t have health insurance and was scrambling to get signed up with Obamacare (hello, Medi-CAL!) all while footing hundred dollar visits to psychiatrists and psychologists. When those proved to be (very quickly) too expensive, I was left to my routine of spending all my time in bed. Towards December I was put onto medication and slowly started crawling out of the black hole I felt I was in.

So what happened then? Well, since I felt I was recovering from a shattered world, I didn’t want to push myself. Anything that gave me stress, I avoided. Blogging happened to be one of those stresses.

Few things happened between last January and now, but a quick recap will explain where I am at. I got a dog, a beautiful, German Shepherd/Malamute puppy named Lestrade. She has been a tremendous help and has sort of acted like a therapy dog — without all the training! In the middle of summer I found out Lestrade had hip dysplasia and will need a total hip replacement. A surgery costing about $8,000. It is scheduled for this December. Come September, I was back in school – starting my first year as a graduate student.

This whole time I’ve been shooting, working quietly and contently. Honestly, the few times I felt my life had meaning or direction (until I started school) was when I was behind the camera.

So, there, readers. There is an explanation of my absence and a hope for forgiveness.  I can’t promise at all I will post more. I probably won’t. Graduate school is very time consuming and with Lestrade going into surgery soon most of my time will be prepping for that and caring for her during recovery.

I still shoot. I still love it. I’m still here.




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